


Swweet Music

by shadedScribe



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Humor, Post-Game, me write a whole fic around one joke? it's more likely than you think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:47:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23741041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadedScribe/pseuds/shadedScribe
Summary: Jade had better come up with a change of topic.“Say, does anyone have any music?” she asked.“I’m glad you asked.” said Eridan, pulling an acoustic guitar out of his sylladex.“Oh, dear God, no.” groaned Karkat.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 19





	Swweet Music

“-and that’s how you get away with stealing eight thousand caegars from a seadweller and leaving dead squeakbeasts inside his walls.” Vriska grinned as she finished her story.

“Well, that was an amusing and instructive anecdote.” said Kanaya.

“Wait, that was you?” Eridan squawked.

“Who else would it have been, dumbass?” said Vriska, rolling her eyes.

“It took a week for the smell to go away!” complained Eridan.

Beside her in the giant cuddle pile, Jade heard Sollux and Feferi giggling at Eridan’s outraged expression. And while he admittedly looked rather funny, too many people laughing at him might set him off, and killing Eridan for attacking them and/or having Jane resurrect somebody would kind of spoil the mood of the The Nature Of Sburb Means That It’s Hard To Assign Moral Culpability With Absolute Certainty So Let’s Just Give Everyone A Mulligan And Have A Bonfire On The Beach Party. Jade had better come up with a change of topic.

“Say, does anyone have any music?” she asked.

“I’m glad you asked.” said Eridan, pulling an acoustic guitar out of his sylladex.

“Oh, dear God, no.” groaned Karkat.

“Hey, my music’s not that bad.” said Eridan.

“Yes it is.” Vriska cut in.

“You haven’t heard me play in sweeps, Vris!” Eridan protested. “I’ve been practicing. Besides, I also went and learned some human music.”

“Really?” said John. “What kind of human music?”

“Oh, all sorts, from all the greatest artists in your history. It’s mostly not as good as Alternian stuff, of course, but there’s some stuff that really speaks to me, you know.”

“You should go ahead, then.” said Rose. “I’m curious as to which human artists are most interesting to an Alternian such as yourself.”

“Alright then.” said Eridan. “This song is a very special song, that I think speaks to some deep emotions about longing and making connections with other people that we all feel. It’s a really marvelous and deep piece, really complex and-”

“Get on with it already!” yelled Vriska.

“Oh, fine.” Eridan glared at Vriska for a moment before taking a breath and adjusting his guitar.

“Anyway, here’s Wonderwall.”

Jade groaned and buried her face in Feferi’s hair. The rest of the humans around the bonfire reacted similarly as the nauseatingly familiar chords played.

Of all the songs on Earth, it had to be that one. Of course it was.

“All in favor of confiscating Eridan’s guitar when this is over?” Dave asked quietly.

“‘Cause maybeeee,” Eridan caterwauled, “you’re gonna be the one that saves meeeee.”

“Aye.” said virtually everyone to Dave’s request.

“I don’t see why we have to wait for him to finish.” said Terezi. She drew her sword and lopped off the head of Eridan’s guitar, ending the song with a twang of broken strings.

“Hey!” said Eridan.

“In hindsight, it’s not particularly surprising that you would like that song.” Rose mused.

“Just be glad that we cut him off before he could start singing it at Feferi and making things awkward.” Dave muttered. “Jade, you got any better human music in those computers of yours?”

“Best of the Eighties playlist, coming right up.” said Jade, teleporting a speaker in from her house.

“Say, what was the music industry like on Alternia?” asked John. “Was there drama and stuff?”

“Oh, yeah.” said Vriska. “Quite a bit more, actually, since you were allowed to try and assassinate rival artists. Say, Terezi, Eridan, do you remember that time we got mixed up in that war between pirate radio stations?”

“Do I ever.” said Terezi.

“Yeah, that was a good campaign.” agreed Eridan, perking up and tossing his destroyed guitar away.

“Okay, so the story behind it was…” Vriska started.

Jade smiled and leaned back into the cuddle pile to listen to Vriska’s story and the familiar strains of Queen, and relaxed.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't worry about the future of music on the new Earth, I'm sure Eridan will move on to Champagne Supernova and the guitar riff from Seven Nation Army soon enough.


End file.
